Attributes Of A Father

Introduction
It has been twenty three days since my father-in-law passed away with my wife and I close by his side. In this intervening period, We have contemplated what qualities he possessed that we most admired and that we would affirm to share with others. We made a list, then settled on what we call pop’s most enduring attributes. This then, what follows, is our tribute…our eulogy to father, and  father-in-law, Forrest Earl Widdifield.

Devotion
Pop was most definitely a devoted man. Especially when it came to his late wife Marian. From December of 2006 up through March 23rd 2013, her final day with us in this life, Marian, owing to late stage Alzheimer’s dementia, was a resident of two local skilled nursing facilities.  Pop dutifully got up each morning, prepared his own breakfast, then drove himself to see his beloved wife at least once nearly every day for all of those 6 plus years that they were apart. On some days, he would drive back again to visit her a second time in the afternoon. On the rare occasion that he could not make the trip, it was because he was down with the flu or a cold. And it just ate at him when he could not make the trips to see his wife.

He arranged for my mother to have a small digital TV set in her room to watch either TV or enjoy many of the old DVD movies she liked or any one of a variety of taped Lawrence Welk Shows that pop recorded for her enjoyment.

At home, in the privacy of his own bedroom, he hung his most favorite photos of either Marian or the two of them in their early years of marriage. Timeless treasures to look upon and reimagine that place in time again.

It made his day each time he walked into the room when their eyes met and she broke into one of her pleasant smiles of recognition and love for him.

Pop’s tender devotion to my mom and his daily trips to spend time with her may just as well have been taken right out of Nicolas Sparks’ book, The Notebook. Unwavering devotion to his life-long partner and spouse. His dedication to his wife Marian epitomized what devotion to another is all about.

An Active Mind
Coping with the reality of having your spouse living apart from you in a nursing home is something that is very upsetting and stressful for any senior. Pop found ways to keep himself busy mentally. He designed and assembled stereo speakers. He tinkered with household electronic clocks, toasters, and gadgets. He repaired a decades old hi-fi stereo cabinet system record turntable for his sister. He puttered in his backyard electronic repair shop. He read up on Alzheimer’s diseases and the various dementias. He began refurbishing an old three-wheeled adult trike to ride around his home. Pop pursued ways of keeping himself busy.

Simple Pleasures
Pop loved a good meal. Either home cooked or a well prepared, satisfying one from one of his favorite restaurants. Pop still cooked and prepared his own meals. His recipes for bean soup, stew and what he called a goulash were all hearty and satisfying. His favorite dining places were few and predictable. Mr. Perry’s, IHOP, the Waffle Barn or Shari’s. Unpretentious and low budget.  All offered the kind of food he had become accustomed too so many decades before as a young teen traveling far and wide every week. Road house and all-night diner food. Omelettes, pot-roast dinners, hamburgers and the occasional fish-n-chips. It was all comfortable and familiar for him.

As his health declined and his doctor’s office visits became more frequent so arose the opportunities for him to ask to be taken to one of his favorite places after the doctor’s office visit or checkup.

My husband and I were fortunate to accompany him so many times as we did at one of his local diner lunches or dinners.

In between enjoying a good meal either at home or out, pop enjoyed a handful of favorite TV programs. Channel 3.2 offered up all of his favorite shows from back in the 1950’s onward. Most of those favorites were all Westerns. Bonanza, The Rifleman, Wanted Dead or Alive and The Big Valley topped the list.  His mid-morning favorite soap opera was The Young and the Restless.

He Made All His Own Decisions
Woody made all of his own decisions, including his final one, which was to be taken home to be comfortable and pass away there when all of the medical reports and tests began to stack up against his continued longevity.

While transitioning in his care at the Sherwood Nursing Home after more than a week in ICU and time at Mercy Hospital, pop made a decision. He declared to Penny that he wanted to be transported home to live out whatever time he had left under Hospice care rather than remaining at the nursing home. We acceded to his wish and put it into motion.

He was thus able to spend his final week with us in this world while residing in his own home.

Hospice care personnel along with members of his family were at his bedside 24 hours a day for that final week.

We admire and love you pop for these qualities, these attributes that we have spoken of today. We love and cherish you for all of the kind words that you shared as a father, all of the life lessons that you taught or modeled for us over the years and for all of the good deeds that you performed for others, for family and for your community in the time that you were with us.

George Strait got it right in the lyrics to his song, Love Without End, Amen, when he sang about the timeless love a father holds for his children. Pop loved country western music, and, recently decided that he liked this particular song by George Strait. It turns out, pop was living out those lyrics every day with his family since day one.

We will miss you pop and love you for all time. God Bless You Forrest Widdifield.


Jeff Dodson & Penny Widdifield Dodson
October 27th 2014

Forrest Earl Widdifield Life Notes

Born December 22nd 1921. 

Passed away on October 4th 2014

Rest in Peace Pop

Forrest E. Widdifield was born on December 22nd 1921 in the Canadian farming town of Creelman. Creelman is located  within the prairie province of Saskatchewan. He was the eldest child of Stewart and Marie Widdifield.  His siblings also included brothers Lloyd, Lyle and sister Joyce. His own children are daughters Lynn Goodman and Penny Widdifield.

As a child, Forrest learned first-hand about the economic hardships of the 1929 Stock Market Crash and the Depression era that followed as the negative hallmark of the early 1930’s. For the remainder of his life, Forrest practiced being thrifty, never throwing anything away, learning how to fix or mend what he had or owned and making do with what he had.

He began his professional career while in his early teens barnstorming across Saskatchewan and Manitoba showing Hollywood motion picture films in a variety of town halls, churches and clubs for the company General Films of Canada. He spoke warmly of the network of young teenage boys that he worked with that would assist him each time his film touring route brought him back through their specific town. His shows would feature two reel films and then either cartoons or a newsreel highlighting world events.

He was full of stories about the all-night cafes and his favorite towns to visit or stay in while on the road during his early film showing work.  A dinner meal on the road ran .75 cents. One of his favorite stops on the road was in the small town of Storthoaks. Pop declared once that Storthoaks was the town he used as “his home base” when he was showing films on the road. A large French-Canadian family named Chicquin lived there with their seven sons. On one occasion, Forrest suffered a bad asthma attack after arriving at their home. He was in a bad way and needed medical attention. One of the boys loaded Forrest into a vehicle and drove him to a medical clinic some 25 miles away to get the life-saving medication that he needed. No matter what time of day or night that he arrived, the Chicquin family would be up and ready for him with a hearty hot meal and conversation.

In 1951, with his wife and year old daughter, he immigrated down from Canada to Sacramento, California.  That same year he also went to work for the McCurry Brothers camera and photography store. Years later pop would open and operate out of his home, his own hi-fidelity stereo sound equipment and camera repair business. His work brought in hundreds of customers from all over Northern California. In time the experience that he gained operating his own business afforded him the opportunity to go to work for the audio visual department at Sacramento State University.

In 1957, Forrest and wife Marian became parents a second time with the arrival of their second child, daughter Penny.

In 1963, at the age of 42, he was awarded his Master Mason Certificate as a member of Sacramento’s local Tehama Lodge. He put in countless long hours working towards this level of Masonic achievement and was most proud of his accomplishment.

Forrest loved to maintain and tinker with audio-visual and stereo equipment. He owned and maintained an impressive library of eight track audio tapes of country western and popular music.

He also had a life-long love of automobiles and prided himself on maintaining and servicing every one of the cars and trucks he owned. He shared with his son-in-law Jeff a substantial amount of his car care tips and what to look for when maintaining a vehicle. On several occasions the two of them teamed up to repair several of the family vehicles.

In addition to metal work, machinery and audio-visual equipment, Forrest also was adept at both rough and finish carpentry. Over the years he extensively  added to or remodeled his Edna Street home as well as performing carpentry work at two of his daughter Lynn’s family homes.

His favorite plants and flowers included Azaleas, Roses, Begonias, Vincas, Sweet Peas and Crepe Myrtles. 

While working at California State University in the Audio-Visual Department, one of his film students was Carol Bland, who would later go on to become a local KCRA TV news reporter.

He loved becoming a great-grandfather to great granddaughters Ella and Haley, and great grandson, Liam.

In his final years, Forrest loved having a meal whenever he could at the original Mr. Perry’s roadhouse diner in South Sacramento.  The attraction was always the free tapioca pudding that was included in a seniors meal. In addition, he also loved the wonderful split pea soup served on Wednesdays and the hearty navy bean soup served all day on Saturdays. His other favorite local restaurants included the Black Bear Diner and Brookfield’s in Rancho Cordova.

Forrest passed away on Saturday October 4th 2014 with his daughter Penny and son-in-law Jeff at his side. 

In the mind of this writer and son-in-law, pop was the toughest and most resilient 92 year old man I’ve ever met or had the pleasure of spending any time with. 

We will miss you pop. We love you for all that you shared with us and how you immeasurably enriched each of our lives. Thank you so much for providing us with such a wonderful blueprint of what compassionate parenting is all about.

Jeff Dodson

October 15th 2014