Take 2: A Book Review

When I chose the Leeza Gibbons book, Take 2, I was drawn to this writer and well-known television celebrity primarily because of her philanthropic work with the Alzheimer’s Association. AD hit Leeza and her family hard in that the disease took the life of her mother. I lost my own mom this past October to this disease. My wife’s mother is in the end stage  of AD, having struggled with it for the past 9 years. It was the caregiving commonality that struck a cord with me.

As a result of the caregiving work she and her family provided to her mother, Leeza founded Leeza’s Place and Leeza’s Care Connection. More information about both of these is available at Leeza’s web site: www.leezagibbons.com.

As I dug further into the book, my next impression was, Oh no, this is gonna be just a book by a woman for other women!

So then I compelled myself to read through the whole book.

Guess what? Aside from the sections devoted to women’s fashion and makeup, there was a treasure trove of empowering information for both men and women. A lot of information about self motivation, personal accountability, staying healthy, empathy and compassion towards others and finding your own spiritual purpose was thoughtfully woven through Take 2.

By the time I finished reading all of Leeza’s book, I discovered that I had used up two yellow-highlighter pens in my marking all of what I found were helpful passages, headlines, or just plain memorable quotes from either Leeza or those whom she admires.

Her eleven chapter book is packed with personal and professional shared experiences of both the failures and successes of this acclaimed television entertainment reporter, celebrity, mother and wife and ambitious businesswoman.

In essence, Take 2 is an instructional book on how to start and remake your life over after living your first forty or so years, although as Leeza says, it could be any age. While it is primarily directed towards women, I think many male readers will find a lot of steak and eggs content to take away for themselves in  this book.

Besides what Leeza has done with respect to Alzheimer’s awareness and caregiving, I enjoyed many of the  quotes she included in her book. One, dealing with our ability to change ourselves,  is a Marianne Williamson quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

In Chapter Four, dealing with self worth, Leeza shares a great quote she used to hear from her mother while she was young.
“Think of yourself as a thoroughbred, honey. Thoroughbreds don’t look at the other horses;  they just run their own race.”

Chapter Six is entitled,  Find Your Story, Make It Count. That chapter is best summarized as follows. Lead with your strength.  Have a vision.  Be gracious in your dealings with others. Stand your ground when circumstances call for it.  Be good at being yourself. Take your time: let success marinate. Be coachable and open to learning from others. This was one on my favorite chapters in her book.

Next, I loved this bit of advice on living one’s life.
Show up, do your best and let go of the rest. Commit to finding humor wherever you can. Can you see the worth in all the events of the past?

And finally, also from Chapter Four, I loved this quote of contemporary wisdom:
“Give yourself credit for doing something right. You must be able to hold yourself in high regard. We are a look at me nation now more than ever, so it’s easy to dismiss our daily accomplishments as insignificant.”

The second sentence here is very much on point. We have allowed ourselves to become distracted with so many  ninety day fads, unwanted intrusions into the privacy of others, and an endless stream of gawdy, bizarre and outrageous digital clips on YouTube, Pintrest, Twitter, Facebook and the like. All designed to grab your momentary attention but truly lacking in anything to do with empowering life lessons.

I recommend this book to both male and female readers. This talented celebrity author has worked in front of a camera and occupied a place on our television sets for many years. Take 2 is a book packed with personal disclosures and tips on how Leeza transformed her life for the better and how others can as well regardless of their stature or the professional field they have made a career within.  Take 2 contains valuable take-aways for both men as well as women.

Jeffrey A. Dodson
March 18th 2013


FTC Disclosure: I received this book free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinions expressed in this review are unbiased and reflect my honest judgment of the product.

At The Bottom Of The Well

In the movie based upon Dan Brown’s book, The DaVinci Code, character Robert Langdon describes a horrifying childhood experience of falling into a cold dark well and being trapped there for many hours.

As an elementary school kid, I remember peering down into just such a well that was located at the back of our old Dodson Ranch cabin. The well was being cleaned out and dug deeper by my grandfather and some helpers. Grandpa looked awfully small way down at the bottom of that old stone-lined well. I recall how scary it looked way back then.

The mental images of Robert Langdon’s well together with my own memory of the Dodson Ranch well have arisen and lingered in my mind for perhaps the last three months. What is different with the well in my mind now is that instead of treading in deep water at the bottom of it like the Langdon character, I am standing in chest deep water at the bottom of mine. Where the Langdon character fell down into the well, I simply awoke from a restless sleep finding myself standing in the bottom of it.

How did this well image business all come about you ask? The past four and a half months have been the toughest gauntlet for me to steer through as a caregiver since 2004.  The deep well image seems to have arose during this time. 

In October 2012, Beatrice Dodson, my mother, passed away. She had been a resident at the Sherwood Healthcare Center in Sacramento for just over a year. Mom’s heart finally gave out after struggling with both diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease. Rest in peace Mom.

Just prior to this, Pop Dodson sustained a minor dog-bite from his beloved dog and bled profusely and dangerously due to his prescription medication Coumadin. He was also laboring with an infected cyst that defied healing up properly and requiring daily manually induced drainage. I executed my amateur nursing duties faithfully each day with that damned cyst. Either on the way to work or after getting off.  Seven straight weeks of draining then redressing, draining then redressing. Puss in the morning, puss in the evening, ain’t we got fun? Sorry Dad, I realize nobody wakes up in the morning asking for a cyst to arrive like some kind of mail order gift fruit basket.

Following mother’s passing and cremation, we hosted a memorial gathering of family, relatives and friends for her in late November. My wife and I handled all of the arrangements.

December had barely begun when my poor father, struggling to care for and live by himself at his home, fell several times sustaining injuries and having a couple more dangerous bleeding sessions and trips to the ER.  With his primary care physicians’ assistance, we finally took Dad off Coumadin. It was also in December that he collapsed a couple of times due to complications from his diabetes. Enough is enough. 

In mid December, with the help of some guardian angel medical personnel at Sutter Hospital, we were able to finally place my Dad in a nursing care facility for long term care. Dad himself chose the place which was Sherwood. He could no longer care for himself and live alone without 24 hour daily medical assistance. That, plus I had used up all of my available sick and vacation time at work to care for Mom & Dad.

Funding for Dad’s stay at Sherwood had to come from somewhere, which necessitated a very quick cash sale of a second home that he owned locally. With the help of an amazing real estate broker and family friend named Kevin Goring, the house sold quickly. Amen.

So now back to the well.

At least once or more each day, my image of standing at the bottom of that well in the cold water occurs. I am in no danger of drowning but there is no chance that someone is coming to assist in hoisting me out of this deep dark wet place. I am on my own in this predicament of my mind. I must use my own ingenuity and craft my own escape. 

Just this morning, in my mind’s eye, I began to examine the layers of old wet stones that line the depth of the well and noticed something I had not seen before. The faint outlines of cut out notches spaced evenly and rising up along one side of the well lining. A kind of ladder! Perhaps it is my own version of Jacob’s Ladder. Not  up to some kind of heavenly place: just a way up and out of where I am now. The possibility of climbing out successfully, one niche at a time. It will require strength of will hot sparks to ignite my campfire of stamina and start to climb. 

Though I have been feeling less powerful than my norm for some time, I am not powerless.

I can do this, however many hours or days it may take. Climb out of the place that I awoke within. No storm or adverse setback lasts forever. Not even being stuck in a well.

The warmth of the sunshine and dry footing beckons.

Jeff Dodson

February 17th 2013

A Book Review Of: Is Your Life Mapped Out?

We are all connected in some way. Connected with each other, connected cultures, connected nations, and, connected to our planet. It  has come down through time this way since the occurrence of what we have come to know as the Big Bang.

I was surprised to read and learn about for the first time, the scientific principles and facts behind all of this connectedness through Dr. David R. Hamilton’s book, Is Your Life Mapped Out?

This was my first exposure to this writer and his work which I found to be compelling and informative. Yes, it is a book about science, but it is also a book about the wonder of our origins and our intertwined relationship with a devine source and the cosmos. 

Dr. Hamilton shares the surprising foundational science that is behind our connectedness. He packs a lot of information within the confines of a 264 page book. While he writes about dozens of amazing topics, I chose to share some of the ones that I found most interesting here.

Chronobiology

This is the study of how living organisms adapt to the cyclical rhythms of the sun and the moon to produce biological rhythm patterns. These rhythmic patterns are part of our daily lives as they effect our sleeping and waking cycles. We also possess biological rhythmic patterns  that are influenced by solar and lunar cycles.  There is an actual clock gene that initiates our internal chronobiology. Discovered in 1994, it is called the Circadian Locomotor Output Cycles Kaput gene. It works by generating certain proteins that turn on the  biological pathways that control our rhythm cycles. I have been aware, since my teens, of some of these biological patterns but was not aware as to just how many there are and how deeply we are all influenced by them. I was also surprised to learn that the above mentioned clock gene actually exists.

Solar Flares And Our Earths Geomagnetic Activity

The rise and fall of the solar activity of our sun has it’s own 11 year cycle. Research has shown that blood pressure increases along with geomagnetic storm intensity. This was a surprise to me.

Geomagnetic storms are also known for affecting our satellites and our worldwide power grids. Some of our animal species have been found to use the Earth’s geomagnetic field for navigation. 

Animals using geomagnetic fields to maneuver and travel would explain how fish and birds, for example, can execute their amazing migratory journeys each year with GPS like  final destination accuracy. Dr. Hamilton writes that some people  possess this same ability.

Epigenetics

This is the science that looks at the influence of the environment and personal human choices on the actual behavior of genes. We may be born with certain genes that carry with them the risk of various kinds of disease, yet they may never become active. Both destiny and free will have a hand in what genes will activate and which will not. 

Loving nurture and human contact, for example, act to ensure that the genes that produce human growth hormone (HGH) and the hormone oxytocin are activated as much as they  need to be for normal  growth.  Take away the loving nurture and contact and the genes are less active. 

Life experiences have an influence on gene activity. We are not mere prisoners of the genes that we inherited.

The Three Levels of Creation

David Hamilton writes that there are three levels of creation. The first is the need for action, or as someone once said, “start turning the flywheel.” The second one is  the principle of interconnectedness. According to the author, this principle means that there are many opportunities that are available to us via social networks, family members, friends and business associates with which to share and commit to what we want to achieve. The third is embedded consciousness, described as a field of energy or information that is everywhere and in everything. Since consciousness is part of the fabric of reality, we thus are already connected to the things we want.

We attract to us that which we focus upon so be mindful of what it is that you really want.

Quantum Interconnections

All particles are connected regardless of the distance or space between them. This is due to what  physicists call entanglement which arose during the Big Bang. Put another way, the author writes that not only are these particles connected but they can be aware of each other’s experiences. Whew!

Fixed Destiny or Multiple Possible Futures?

Dr. Hamilton, using the metaphor of a tree, talks about what he describes as the ‘tree of probable life.’ Picture your life starting out at the base of a tree. While your early life seems to begin growing like the vertical trunk of the tree and primarily in one direction. As we get older and begin to act upon our own choices, the tree begins to grow branches which represent the probable futures that each choice would bring. Viewing the pathway of life in this manner, each of us then would face the future with several possibilities instead of one set or single destiny.

Near Death Experiences

Near Death Experiences are discussed as well. They are more common than what has been reported. According to Dr. Hamilton, a Gallup poll, conducted in the 1980’s disclosed that 1 in 20 Americans reported that they had had one. A common feature of those experiencing such a phenomenon is looking down upon their own bodies, often in a hospital setting, calmly observing what is being done to them as well as the activity of others within the same room. This looking down from above vantage point has a name. It is called veridical perception. One thing that Dr. Hamilton wrote about that we do not give much thought to is that there are a substantial number of nurses in the medical profession who have personally seen or experienced patient NDE phenomena but are reluctant to share their experiences with outsiders.

One poignant case of a NDE was recently shared by author, Anita Moorjani, in her book, Dying To Be Me, which I previously reviewed and posted in a blog.

As a reader and blog writer about caregiving and spiritual topics, I enjoyed learning that there is substantial body of scientific research that appears to validate the striking intuitive powers we possess, our ability to positively influence our physical and mental health in spite of the genetics we were born with, and  how we are all connected: right down to the subatomic level according to particle physics. 

For me, a couple of the chapters read a little heavy when I first went through my copy so I spent some time contemplating what was being shared, then went back and reread those chapters again. I loved and admired how this author invested the time to provide us common folk with an understandable overview of intimidating subjects such as quantum physics, particle entanglement and the phenomenon of wave-particle duality. Pretty amazing stuff.

Dr. Hamilton’s book, Is Your Life Mapped Out?, is  a thought provoking read. If you  possess a sense of wonder about both science and metaphysics, I believe you will will enjoy this book.

Jeff Dodson

2/10/13

FTC Disclosure

I received this book free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinions expressed in this review are unbiased and reflect my honest judgment of the product.

Angels Whisper In My Ear: A Book Review

This book is also quite a bit different from my last book review that dealt with the hard science of quantum physics, archeology, human evolution and cyclical global weather patterns. The subject matter of this, my latest book review, was definitely something I had not come across or sought out since my days in college. Kyle Gray’s book, Angels Whisper In My Ear, deals with the extraordinary world of parapsychology and mediums.

In essence, Angels Whisper In My Ear, is a book about a gifted young man with an ability to communicate with the other side. This includes being able to speak with and see departed spirits who have passed over and communication with angels. At the tender age of four, Kyle discovered that he could see and speak with the spirit of someone who had passed away. His first encounter with his ability, his gift occurred with his own beloved ,“Nana”, or grandmother.

As you read through this book, Kyle introduces us to a wide variety of clients that he has done readings for including people from all walks of life. The personalities, lifestyles and professions vary widely among them all. Many of the folks that Kyle conducted his readings with were often very skeptical of either his abilities or their ability to believe in and accept what they would be presented with. One very self-absorbed, antagonistic fellow was so shaken by the message Kyle received and shared with him that he simply got up from the reading and fled out the door.

What each of Kyle’s reading clients share in common is a deep interest in making contact with a loved one to help heal a wounded heart, to ease a deep grieving or to make right something that was left undone between them and a loved one who died before some kind of closure could be initiated. In virtually all the cases of those that he either read for once or over a series of times, Kyle was able to help bring healing, understanding and substantial positive closure into the lives of those still living via his link and message sharing from the other side.

His Relationship with the Spiritual Realm
As he grew into his teens, Kyle honed his psychic skills that intensified his ability to visualize the auras that each of us possess immediately around ourselves. Kyle describes an aura as being a single or multicolored energy field that emanates out of and around each of us. It represents the  spiritual energy that each of us own.

He  discovered that he could see and sense the presence of the spirits of the departed as well as both guardian angels and the more highly evolved Archangels such as those mentioned in the Bible known as Michael and Raphael.

He shares with his readers that not only do each and every one of us possess our own guardian angel, but that some folks are blessed with more than one.

Kyle shares something in his book that was new to me. That is, the existence of what the angels refer to as “Crystal Children.” These are children born into our world carrying special gifts or talents but dwelling in bodies that are crippled up with disease or with a mind struggling with autism, retardation, etc. They are most often born into the homes of very loving and caring parents who’s challenge is to figure out how to connect with their child’s gifts as they are being raised.

What I Got Out of This Book
1. I had just received my copy of this book to read and then review when I lost my own mother, Beatrice Dodson, in mid October of this year. She passed at the age of 87 due to a combination of diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease. I found comfort in learning more about the world that Kyle Gray can see and communicate with and knowing that my mother now resides in that realm.

2. Each and every one of us, has the ability to reach out and access that spiritual plane that we originated from and which our departed family members and loved ones pass over into. In other words, we all have access to the other side, with or without the assistance of someone such as Kyle.

3. Personal validation that all of the paranormal experiences I have had throughout my own life involving deceased family members were authentic and very real in spite of what some less open minded people might think.

Caregivers in particular, take note. This book and it’s subject matter will bring comfort and a sense of pride to you in what is otherwise very difficult and challenging work. My wife Penny and I have been caregivers for both sets of aging parents for nearly nine years now. Caregiving, in a way, prepares people with terminal illnesses to face their own mortality and eventual passing over. Kyle Grays book, Angels Whisper In My Ear, reveals the wondrous world that awaits those who do pass and that we the living have the ability to reach out and keep open a channel to the other side and the extraordinary beings, that we know as angels, who stand ready to help us there.

Open your mind to what if... possibilities, and give this book a read.


Jeff Dodson
December 15th 2012


FTC Disclosure I received this book free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinions expressed in this review are unbiased and reflect my honest judgment of the product.

Our Belief In Angels

I will be posting a book review upon my blog site in the very near future that deals with the topics of  parapsychology, clairvoyance, spirits and angels. The book in question, from Hay House Publishing is entitled, Angels Whisper In My Ear, by Kyle Gray.

Way back in the early 1970’s while attending college, I became fascinated with the field of parapsychology, mediums, telekinesis, telepathy, etc. For a couple of years, I read up all that I could about subjects supernatural. Nothing about angels though. Then, my interests migrated elsewhere; to girls.

It is now some forty plus years later and here I have chosen Kyle Gray’s book to read and prepare a review on. What made me chose his book? Curiosity I suppose. That, plus I had never dealt with the topic of angels before. Since angels figure prominently in Mr. Gray’s line of work and his book, I thought I would look into the belief in angels further.

What it is about them that seem to be so attractive? How many people percentage wise in the United States believe in them? I was surprised by what I learned.

Angel is a word derived from the Greek word Angelos which means messenger. Among a substantial number of people as well as a diverse number of faiths of the world, angels are believed to act as emissaries or envoys who connect our material world with the spiritual realm. Some angels are said to be earthbound while the greater majority of them inhabit the spiritual plane as beings of light.

In 2006, an Associated Press-AOL poll was conducted that found that 81% of Americans believed in the existence of angels.

Time Magazine conducted their own poll of 1700 people in September 2008 on the topic of angels. One poll finding in particular was interesting. When faced with the statement, “I was protected from harm by a guardian angel,” 55% of the respondents answered affirmatively. That percentage held up regardless of denomination, region of the country or educational background.

Guardian angels, acting to protect folks from perils, harm and disaster, seems to be a popularly held  belief among many people in our society.

Last year, on December 23rd 2011, CBS News announced the results of of an Associated Press-GfK poll conducted between December 8th - 12th of 2011. The poll results revealed that 77% believed that such beings as angels are real. In this poll women were found more likely to believe they are real, and, those over the age of 30 are more apt than younger adults to think they exist.

So what can we glean from all of these polls?

It would appear that when it comes to the subject of angels, there is widespread acceptance in the belief in them. It also appears that a number of people have taken that belief even further by holding to the notion that they each may have their own guardian angel maintaining a lookout to protect them.  People want to believe in something greater than themselves in addition to their Creator, their Source.

Do I believe in angels? Yes. Call it an act of my own personal faith. And, I am one of those folks who definitely feels that he has been looked after, many times in his life, by what could only be described as his own guardian angel or two.

No, I cannot lay claim to ever having seen one either literally or in my minds eye....yet.

Who knows what the future might hold though?


Jeff Dodson
December 3rd 2012

Three Things I Learned From Mom

Beatrice L. Dodson

On Wednesday October 17th 2012, my mother, Beatrice Dodson, passed away at the age of 87 years, 8 months and 5 days. For my part, I shared 61 plus years of her life in the roll of her first born son. During this time, I learned a number of things from mom. Three things in particular have stood the test of time in my mind and are worth sharing here. Each of them a positive attribute worthy of adapting as one’s own. 

1. Family oriented

Mother was born into a family of all girls. She was the second child among four. Having experienced the crushing tragedy of loosing both her mother and youngest sister to ill health by the age of seven, appreciation for her remaining two sisters rose substantially. More so since her father, a migrant farm laborer, was often absent for long periods of time, either out seeking work out of town or employed far from where they called their home. Having immediate family loved ones around her along with consistent contact with cousins became highly coveted.

Within the Hispanic culture which she was born into, family gatherings and annual reunions were a big deal. Attending them was something she always became excited about and looked forward to. After she and dad became married and started having and raising the three of us boys, the opportunity to start hosting family reunions arose. Mom volunteered with gusto.  

The first home that my parents purchased in South Sacramento in 1954 was perfectly suited for hosting large family events of this kind. The back yard was very deep and pie-shaped with the widest part of the lot running across our back fence. Room enough that I recall several family reunions in that back yard with upwards of 125 or more cousins, aunts and uncles all enjoying the festivities. In the fourteen years that we lived at 2670 Phyllis Avenue, mom hosted at least six reunions.

Mom loved planning, getting ready for, and hosting these reunions. She would slave for days in advance, cooking, baking, and preparing all of the food, the back yard table settings, decorations, etc. She would wind up absolutely exhausted for three or four days afterwards. Then there would be comments like, “Well that’s the last reunion I’m doing. It was too much work. I’m not gonna do any more, period.”  Three or four months of silence would then go by. Then dad or us boys would start to hear remarks like, “Well at the next reunion, I’m going to do things this way.”  We would smile to ourselves, as dad would, and get ready for the next big inevitable gathering. 

2. Having courage

I offer two examples here of what I believe were demonstrated acts of courage.

The first occurred before I was born and is part of the reputation that my mother earned while she was still single and living with her family in North Sacramento. 

The incident in question occurred sometime just  prior to the end of World War II. Mom had been tasked for some time to keep a strict chaperoning eye upon her younger stepsister Suzie. Suzie was an under aged teen who loved all the attention she could get from boys. Failing in her mission to keep Suzie out of harm’s way would earn mom a physical beating from her strict father. An opportunity arose for the two of them to take in a movie at one of the movie theaters along Del Paso Boulevard. As they were walking, approaching the movie theater, mom spied a couple of sailors headed in their direction. 

Suzie had already spotted them and was flashing an inviting smile. Both of the sailors had also caught sight of both girls but they were focused in on young, flirtatious blond Suzie walking along with mom. Mom, sensing trouble coming, quickened their pace, pulling on the arm of Suzie to step it up.

As they approached within a few paces, one or both of the sailors made some suggestive remarks and blocked the path of the two women. Mom stepped forward and warned the sailor closest to Suzie to back off and to let them be. Supposedly, as the story goes, both of the sailors had been drinking and were not feeling any pain. The one closest to Suzie reached out to either shake her hand or stroke her hair. It was the last move he made while standing upright. 

Anticipating the threat beforehand, mom had been covertly clutching a roll of dimes tightly in her  balled up fist held at her side. A swift and vigorous uppercut punch below the chin sent the groping sailor over backwards right into the gutter. Without missing a beat, mom tugged fiercely at Suzie with her free hand dragging her flirty step sister away from the scene and on towards the movie theater. As they did, the second sailor, who was still standing, was busy pointing and laughing at his knocked down comrade who, “let that little woman belt him one.”

Example number one of courage under fire.

The second example of courage arose during the course of my mom serving as a volunteer upon  the PTA of our local elementary school. The school was a great neighborhood grammar school, taught by a great bunch of teachers. The principal of the school, however, was a bullying and intimidating despot whom I’ll call Howard Smith. Principal Smith had spent many years intimidating both his teachers, the school administrative staff and parents. He ruled and ran the school as his own private kingdom. Part of this behavior included being stingy as hell when it came to control of the budget for school lunches, books & playground equipment.

It took only a year of mom serving her first stint on the PTA to start seeing things that needed changing. When mom began to question why things were not being done, overlooked or simply ignored, she was repeatedly told that it was all Principal Smiths’ doing and to back off the subject. Mom did not back off the subject. She badgered, rallied and organized the parents along with a handful of influential teachers, then demanded a meeting with Principal Smith. He agreed to meet with them, listened to their grievances then dismissed all of them.  Big Mistake. 

Mom’s next move was a detailed hand written letter to the school board. Next came a face to face meeting along with a few of the other courageous parents with the school board. Within the next six months, Principal Smith was removed, demoted and shipped off to another school district. 

Example number two of courage with an ample amount of conviction thrown in.

3.  Being kind hearted

One of the best examples I ever saw of mom demonstrating being kind hearted and compassionate to someone else occurred with one of our neighbors that we rarely ever saw. This was back in the late 1950’s when I was in the third grade.

Jeannie Underwood was a shy, sweet-natured young woman who lived with her aunt and uncle across the street from us. She was fair-skinned, with lustrous red hair and expressive brown eyes. She was born with a extremely painful and debilitating rheumatoid arthritis condition. She was only in her mid twenties yet her poor hands were bent and curled up into what looked like bird claws. She could not walk, relying instead upon a wheelchair. She lived in constant pain. 

As kids, we would sometimes observe Jeannie sitting in her high-backed wheelchair in a corner of their living room if the front drapes were left open.  Her aunt and uncle opened their home to her but tended to go about their lives ignoring her for the most part.

In visiting with Jeannie’s Aunt one day, mom noticed some interesting mosaic tile wall decorations hanging on the walls. When mom inquired as to where they had acquired them, she was informed that they were Jeannie's’ handiwork. Mom loved the look of them. Within a few days, mom went over on a regular basis each afternoon to have Jeannie teach her how to craft and create the mosaic tile decorations. Then mom was floored when Jeannie showed her a large heavy mosaic tile bowl that had been created out of an old worn out farm plow disc. A light went off in mom’s head: “we have access to these at our old Dodson Family  Ranch up in Latrobe!”

I can remember several dinner table conversations with dad where mom was talking about getting lots of old used plow discs for Jeannie to do her tile work on them then sell them to make a part-time income from.

Mom stunned Jeannie when she pitched the idea of keeping Jeannie supplied with donated plow discs so Jeannie could then decorate and sell them! Never mind her inability to get up and travel around to do the selling herself: my mom and family members would do the selling for her. Jeannie was overwhelmed with emotion at the thought that anyone had taken an interest in her artwork let alone offering to help sell them on her behalf. 

Mom next showed them to my grandfather and enlisted his enthusiastic support. Grandpa Dodson along with my dad became the finders and suppliers of plow discs while my mom pitched in at shopping for Jeannie’s mosaic tile supplies to keep her fledgling assembly line running. Jeannie was so appreciative with Grandpa Dodson’s first delivery of close to 20 plow discs for work to begin with. Over the next three or four years, Jeannie Underwood’s mosaic tile disc bowls and wall art was sold or introduced all over the Sacramento area. Mom, dad and grandpa never accepted a penny for what sold on Jeannie’s behalf. 

To top it all off, mom decided to do something else for Jeannie Underwood. 

Jeannie rarely left the confines of her home and did not have a social life at all. Mom began by inviting Jeannie to some of the neighborhood mom parties. Whether it was a birthday, a Tupperware party or just some of the mom’s having a gathering over a few drinks, Jeannie was invited and introduced to the fun and the opportunity to feel like she was accepted among the neighborhood women. I can still see the sparkle and mist in Jeannie’s eyes to this day in gratitude for the world that my mom opened up for her. God Bless You Jeannie Underwood.

Jeannie Underwood eventually succumbed to her disease while in her mid-thirties, but before she died, she was able to experience the love, the attention and a strong measure of  validation from others that all began with my mom.

The importance of your family, possessing courage in standing up to a bully or a threat, and being kindhearted towards others or those who cannot stand up for themselves. Three things that I learned from and about my mom. All value lessons observed and held onto before I was the age of twelve. That was forty nine years ago. 

Thanks Mom Dodson.

Jeff Dodson

November 23rd 2012

  

What Is It Like?

I awoke with a startle...from a way in deep sleep.  From the sound of my cell phone chirping furiously, while lodged somewhere under my head. Oh that’s right...I had it in my hand thrust under the pillow when I fell off to sleep. How long ago was that? First, just flip it open and answer it Mr. Jeff. The phone refuses to flip open. It just flops out of my hand, tumbling silently to the carpeted floor. Reach down, try again, it’s probably your wife.

Sure enough, on the second try, I grab for the phone, pop it open this time, and croak out a hoarse, “Hello.”

I was right, it’s my Penny, alerting me that she’ll be detained. A detour to her dad’s is in order. Take him some groceries, check up on him and maybe some tidy-up housekeeping.

So I arise from where I was, sitting up now upon my now and do a quick survey of my surrounds. Yes, I am home, having been awakened by a phone call. 'Twas a nap I had indulged in, having arrived home earlier at 6:45 a.m. I think it was.

A quick breakfast, lovingly set out, was quickly wolfed down. Followed by a steaming hot bath to soak in and float away the grime and perspiration of another all nighter at work. After that, it was a an immediate adjournment to my ‘battle station napping perch’ to grab a desperate nap while on standby for whatever comes next.

Now, however, it’s time to get up for a spell to chip away at what calls for attention. The  first stop though is the microwave for a reheated cup of hot joe. Nothing brings me out of  a deep sleep like a cup of good carburetor cleaner. Starbuck’s is one of my favored fuels, however, home brewed will do just fine at the moment.

So what day is it? Let me see, oh yes, it’s Saturday morning. I have one more overnighter to knock out tonight at work. Getting ready for important visitors, and for that purpose we need to shine and be in the proper presentable order.

Besides that, a mountain of paperwork awaits on a side desk in my office. Most of it is  the usual and every day result of handling the finances for two other households besides our own. My stack is what I need to cull through for my own folks. Penny has a stack of her own that represents what she must chew through each week for her parents as well.  At some point in this process we manage to get to our own finances and obligations.

Yesterday before work was relatively productive. Both of us, on the phone, mostly all day. Alternately alerting creditors and contacting relatives and loved ones of the death of one of our parents. Calls given and calls received from loved ones offering condolences, sharing their concern and inquiring how things have been. Already, you have told and retold a seemingly scripted out speech of what happened and what lead up to that family members death. You are weary, worn out and the emotional drain has started to take it’s toll. Still, you press on, another handful of calls to more creditors and accounts.

Planning for and handling all of the arrangements for the upcoming funeral is actually going well. A different kind of paperwork. The loss of a parent is not easy, but in our case, we had plenty of time as caregivers to see this one unfolding and headed our way. The hurt and the loss is there but it is not a bottomless chasm to fall into. We had already constructed a rope and plank bridge across it.

Mostly it is fatigue that is the hostile dancer we are compelled to tango with. Every day. Part of this is due to the sheer pace that we maintain each day to stay on top of our accepted obligations as caregivers. We don’t wish what we do on anyone else. Neither do we run away from or abandon what we started.

So what is it like? Caregiving times four?

You damn well learn to manage your time better than most folks.
You learn to eat the healthiest foods you can  find and not starve yourself..
You learn to find the humor in things and situations that once before you missed.
You learn to grab naps and rest breaks at any hour of the night or day where opportunity allows: just like soldiers do.
You learn to take time out for the simplest of little pleasures wherever you come upon them.
You count up your blessings every day.

How has it all changed us?

I am now more gray. Penny, a natural redhead, appears like the little red polar fox: transitioning into an eventual all white coat.   Each of us are sporting a few more wrinkles. At the end of each day, as often as not, we reach for that bottle of Ibuprofen to alleviate the aches and pains.

Oh yes, and we are wiser.


Jeff Dodson
November 10th 2012