Don't Let Me Be Forgotten

No one living relishes the thought of going to their grave having been completely forgotten. All memories of them erased, swept away or turned to dust upon the wind.  Whether it is a person of established wealth and acclaim or the lowliest of paupers, the inner desire is the same: to be remembered by society or someone else for something of value.

“Don’t let me be forgotten,” is often heard at the bedside from those who are terminally ill and close to passing.

Each of us finds some comfort in the thought that their are a number of usually family members, coworkers and friends that will feel and remember the loss of our passing.  The memory of who we were will live on with at least one other person. Even those among us who have led humble, unassuming quiet lives find comfort in knowing that somewhere, someone will own a memory or two of them tucked away in a small mental coin purse.

For a person stricken with Alzheimer’s Disease, the fear of dying forgotten is particularly enhanced. It is so because AD is a neurological disease that virtually destroys all of the memories of who a person is as well as all of their life’s accomplishments.  Their life’s entire mental diary, their log, the rich personal narrative of all of their years is irrevocably taken away.

They evaporate from the inside before they die on the outside.

The AD stricken person goes to their grave with a travel bag empty and devoid of every memory of themselves and their life’s accomplishments. A fear they carry with them of arriving at one’s final destination with empty luggage in the presence of our Creator.

An opportunity thus arises for the family, the caregiver, the loved ones of the AD person. What can you do to perpetuate, to keep alive, the memories and experiences of who that person was and what contributions they brought to their lives and those around them?  What can you do to keep alive the memory of who that person was? How can you celebrate their life’s work?

Perhaps a memory scrapbook, a photo album, a collection of stories they were famous for always telling or stories that were told about them. Maybe a written journal or a personal essay elaborating upon one or more of the attributes or qualities you admired in that individual.  Poetry is another elegant way of paying respect to the memory of another.

Call it a form of tribute, a kind of honor to bestow upon the one who is dying of AD.  A means to bring attention to that which they were long after they have left our world, our earth school and returned to the realm of Spirit.

Let them know, while they are still here, while they still can understand, that their name will remain within the minds of those dear to them.  It will be through your efforts that the memories and deeds of the loved one or friend will be memorialized.

It is through the creation of this kind of gift on behalf of another that you as a caregiver, a family member or friend will experience your own sense of fulfillment.

Would you not feel comforted yourself if the situation was reversed?

Honor their memories, honor the best of who they were and offer testament to others of the stories that illustrate their life journey.

A creative and loving act to the impassioned plea of, “Don’t let me be forgotten!”


Jeff Dodson
January 27th 2011