Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Shackled Heroes
Our earliest memories of them are always pleasant and warm. A faint recall of gazing up at one of them while being cuddled and put to sleep in a crib. Being held by the other while hungrily draining down a bottle of formula in a bottle. Cared for and nursed with homemade remedies while home in bed with the a cold, the flu or one of the many childhood illnesses. Holding hands with one for reassurance as you were escorted along for your first day in Kindergarten. Remembering that huge birthday cake they honored you with at age 2 when you were ensconced in your highchair; their faces glowing with expectation and smiles. The bonding was mutually desired, pursued and relished.
In looking back, our parents made the conscious choice to begin a family, raise their children and make a lifelong commitment to nurturing, supporting and caring for each child that was planned as well as any that came along that were not.
While in their teens and twenties, the lives of our parents were all about dating, finding the right partner, settling down with them and beginning productive careers. They fought, they quarreled they disagreed at times with a passion; but they always knew how to make up, make peace and get back upon their shared journey. Some of their children began to arrive on the scene even at this early age. Nest-building had begun.
As mom & dad entered their thirties, it was about finding a home they could finally afford to purchase and move into; saying goodbye to that old apartment or rented duplex. They started to grow roots in their neighborhoods, and roots in their business careers. They modeled what a good neighbor, what a good citizen should be like with all of the other parents and kids on the block. Their own children sprouted and grew swiftly, making friends and growing into early adolescence.
The decade of their forties, saw mom & dad move us into a larger, grander home. Lots of pictures to be taken as we attended, then graduated from high school while gearing up for college or a solid trade school. Mom & dad were there for us, cheering us on through homework, finals, graduations, SAT’s, etc. At times, they looked tired, run down from their work, maintaining their home, raising us kids, and sometimes neglecting their own health. Nest makeovers and replacements were underway. Some fledging of the kids had already begun.
With the promenade through their fifties, new challenges arose for our parents to contend with. A bout with breast cancer for mom, maybe a scare of a prostrate tumor for dad, or a heart bypass operation. Through all of these struggles, they remained first and foremost, loving parents; engaged with and proud of each of their children for their accomplishments, and their with words of encouragement and balm when you fell, tumbled or were ejected from your saddle. The parental vows of long ago: to love, nurture, mentor and advocate their young were still being followed to the letter. The nest has been empty now for some time, with just mom & dad to meander through it and reminisce.
The decade of their sixties brought to reality, long-awaited plans and the joy of retirement, more time with the grandchildren, work with their favorite charity, part-time consulting, small building projects, etc. As they passed through their sixties, physical and mental abilities, once stalwart and reliable, now began to slow down, falter and sometimes not work as once before. And still they continued in delivering up instinctive and intuitive loving parenting skills to their kids, grandchildren and to some of those newly arriving great-grandchildren.
For many of us with parents now in their seventies or eighties, a turning point junction has now arrived. Our parents, our “heroes” who sacrificed, scrimped, and gave all they had to their children for the past 50 years or more now require our urgent help and give back.
Our “heroes” are now shackled by a variety of infirmities, physical ailments and cognitive decline. Canes, walkers, “Depends” and hearing aides are all now octogenarian accessories. But our parents, our heroes need more than just these devices. They need our active presence, our weekly involvement with their care and welfare, whether in their home, at the assisted living place, or, down at the nursing home.
That turning point place means it is time to give back, time to reciprocate, time to step up and extend back to mom & dad what they have unconditionally provided to us for over half a century. Time to put on, button up and tuck in that warm wool Pendelton known as becoming a Caregiver for your parents. It is a completion and balancing of the process of Life. Time for attending to and caring for our Shackled Heroes.
August 1st 2010
Jeff Dodson is an Alzheimer's and Dementia Caregiver Advocate.
He lives and writes in Elk Grove, California.
Visit his Caregiver Blog at www. nvlwtrdodson.blogspot.com
or e-mail him at: www.imaginatic@frontier.com
In looking back, our parents made the conscious choice to begin a family, raise their children and make a lifelong commitment to nurturing, supporting and caring for each child that was planned as well as any that came along that were not.
While in their teens and twenties, the lives of our parents were all about dating, finding the right partner, settling down with them and beginning productive careers. They fought, they quarreled they disagreed at times with a passion; but they always knew how to make up, make peace and get back upon their shared journey. Some of their children began to arrive on the scene even at this early age. Nest-building had begun.
As mom & dad entered their thirties, it was about finding a home they could finally afford to purchase and move into; saying goodbye to that old apartment or rented duplex. They started to grow roots in their neighborhoods, and roots in their business careers. They modeled what a good neighbor, what a good citizen should be like with all of the other parents and kids on the block. Their own children sprouted and grew swiftly, making friends and growing into early adolescence.
The decade of their forties, saw mom & dad move us into a larger, grander home. Lots of pictures to be taken as we attended, then graduated from high school while gearing up for college or a solid trade school. Mom & dad were there for us, cheering us on through homework, finals, graduations, SAT’s, etc. At times, they looked tired, run down from their work, maintaining their home, raising us kids, and sometimes neglecting their own health. Nest makeovers and replacements were underway. Some fledging of the kids had already begun.
With the promenade through their fifties, new challenges arose for our parents to contend with. A bout with breast cancer for mom, maybe a scare of a prostrate tumor for dad, or a heart bypass operation. Through all of these struggles, they remained first and foremost, loving parents; engaged with and proud of each of their children for their accomplishments, and their with words of encouragement and balm when you fell, tumbled or were ejected from your saddle. The parental vows of long ago: to love, nurture, mentor and advocate their young were still being followed to the letter. The nest has been empty now for some time, with just mom & dad to meander through it and reminisce.
The decade of their sixties brought to reality, long-awaited plans and the joy of retirement, more time with the grandchildren, work with their favorite charity, part-time consulting, small building projects, etc. As they passed through their sixties, physical and mental abilities, once stalwart and reliable, now began to slow down, falter and sometimes not work as once before. And still they continued in delivering up instinctive and intuitive loving parenting skills to their kids, grandchildren and to some of those newly arriving great-grandchildren.
For many of us with parents now in their seventies or eighties, a turning point junction has now arrived. Our parents, our “heroes” who sacrificed, scrimped, and gave all they had to their children for the past 50 years or more now require our urgent help and give back.
Our “heroes” are now shackled by a variety of infirmities, physical ailments and cognitive decline. Canes, walkers, “Depends” and hearing aides are all now octogenarian accessories. But our parents, our heroes need more than just these devices. They need our active presence, our weekly involvement with their care and welfare, whether in their home, at the assisted living place, or, down at the nursing home.
That turning point place means it is time to give back, time to reciprocate, time to step up and extend back to mom & dad what they have unconditionally provided to us for over half a century. Time to put on, button up and tuck in that warm wool Pendelton known as becoming a Caregiver for your parents. It is a completion and balancing of the process of Life. Time for attending to and caring for our Shackled Heroes.
August 1st 2010
Jeff Dodson is an Alzheimer's and Dementia Caregiver Advocate.
He lives and writes in Elk Grove, California.
Visit his Caregiver Blog at www. nvlwtrdodson.blogspot.com
or e-mail him at: www.imaginatic@frontier.com
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