Twelve Words That Describe The Best Caregivers

 courtesy of worldofdtmarketing.com

I have now been a caregiver for eight years. 2012 is almost here and will mark the start of my 9th year. During this period of time, I have met, become friends with and worked alongside a wide variety of other family caregivers, cna’s and nurses.

Among them all, I have found that there are a number of common attributes that are present among the best of them.  While I can modestly lay claim to 2 or 3 of these qualities for myself, my wife Penny has moved more swiftly down the caregiver evolutionary path and exemplifies damn near most of the attributes that follow. I must say that both of us have had the privilege of meeting caregivers who exhibit them all.  

Adaptive

As in being able to meet and adjust to change or a new situation or a surprise.  This is a particularly valuable asset for a caregiver who works with those with dementia and declining  cognitive skills.  Dementia behaviors can change back and forth from hour to hour with little or no provocation or incitement. Your patient or charge might be laughing and smiling with you one moment, then, become quiet and sullen, followed by an outburst of anger the next. Being adaptive here means having the ability to roll with the punches when sometimes the punches that come your way are real.  

Compassionate

Willing to reach out in a heartfelt way to those less fortunate than themselves. Also could be viewed as charitable.

Courageous

Defined as the ability to control fear when facing danger or pain. Not affraid of a challenge or the unknown. Facing up to and coping with the daily physical and psychological pains of their patient. Facing up to and coping with their own possible daily aches, pains and frustrations but still spending a full day tending to a family member or patient.

Empathetic

The ability to feel and identify with the emotions that their patient is experiencing.  Empathy cannot be faked. Even those dementia patients who are the most compromised can recognize an empathetic caregiver. The real thing stands out clearly amongst the chaff.

Humble

Does not seek to draw attention to themselves nor boast of their accomplishments. Not interested in the limelight or notoriety.  Many caregivers are self-effacing and would blend in rather than stand out in a crowd.

Kind

Possesses or takes on a vocabulary of warm, encouraging words that praise and validate the patients’ sense of worth. Employing language that cultivates trust and comfort. From the patients’ point of view: here is someone that makes me feel good to be around, one that dispels my sense of embarrassment, fear or apprehension.

Loyal

To the sick or dying person that they are serving whether a stranger, parent, sibling or relative. Has a sense of duty or obligation to provide consistent care to the one they are serving. This is often the case when it comes to caring for a mother, a father, or one of the grandparents.

Observant

Owns or develops the observational skills akin to the television character, “Dr. Gregory House,” in noticing the small details of how a patient appears, acts, and behaves.  My own wife is quite sharp in this area when it comes to reading the moods and intentions of her own mother, locked in a valiant fight against end-stage Alzheimer’s.  Sometimes Penny’s talent here borders on the clairvoyant. No discernible or apparent visual clues yet she picks them out intuitively.

Resilient

The ability to spring back from setbacks: to be able to readily recover from a shock or depression.  Many caregivers may not have counted this attribute as part of their arsenal when they first took up the vocation, but have eventually cultivated it over time.

Selfless

Places the health and welfare of others ahead of one self. Making sure grandpa takes his pills on time this afternoon is more important than slipping out to take in a movie.  

Steadfast

Firm and unyielding. Possessing the ability to hold their ground and hold onto their convictions that they are doing the right thing.  Doesn’t shirk away from perceived responsibilities. Willing to go the distance in the care of grandma, mom, dad, or a sibling.

Tolerant

Has the  ability to handle the challenges of someone who may be incontinent, prone to aggressive and hurtful outbursts, deal with bouts of crying and sobbing, having objects (including bodily fluids and products thrown at them), etc. Can handle daily assaults upon the ears as well as daily assaults upon the nose (poop and urine).

These are the 12 attributes that stand out the most among the dozens of caregivers I have met, who write educational and empowering blogs or act as advocates for those who cannot act for themselves.  Before my days as a caregiver are done, I hope to add maybe a couple more of these qualities to my own inventory.

Caregivers. Noble in their character and admirable in their sense of mission.  Take the time and get to know one! They are an amazing group of folks!

Jeff Dodson

November 30th 2011