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| Beatrice L. Dodson |
On Wednesday October 17th 2012, my mother, Beatrice Dodson, passed away at the age of 87 years, 8 months and 5 days. For my part, I shared 61 plus years of her life in the roll of her first born son. During this time, I learned a number of things from mom. Three things in particular have stood the test of time in my mind and are worth sharing here. Each of them a positive attribute worthy of adapting as one’s own.
1. Family oriented
Mother was born into a family of all girls. She was the second child among four. Having experienced the crushing tragedy of loosing both her mother and youngest sister to ill health by the age of seven, appreciation for her remaining two sisters rose substantially. More so since her father, a migrant farm laborer, was often absent for long periods of time, either out seeking work out of town or employed far from where they called their home. Having immediate family loved ones around her along with consistent contact with cousins became highly coveted.
Within the Hispanic culture which she was born into, family gatherings and annual reunions were a big deal. Attending them was something she always became excited about and looked forward to. After she and dad became married and started having and raising the three of us boys, the opportunity to start hosting family reunions arose. Mom volunteered with gusto.
The first home that my parents purchased in South Sacramento in 1954 was perfectly suited for hosting large family events of this kind. The back yard was very deep and pie-shaped with the widest part of the lot running across our back fence. Room enough that I recall several family reunions in that back yard with upwards of 125 or more cousins, aunts and uncles all enjoying the festivities. In the fourteen years that we lived at 2670 Phyllis Avenue, mom hosted at least six reunions.
Mom loved planning, getting ready for, and hosting these reunions. She would slave for days in advance, cooking, baking, and preparing all of the food, the back yard table settings, decorations, etc. She would wind up absolutely exhausted for three or four days afterwards. Then there would be comments like, “Well that’s the last reunion I’m doing. It was too much work. I’m not gonna do any more, period.” Three or four months of silence would then go by. Then dad or us boys would start to hear remarks like, “Well at the next reunion, I’m going to do things this way.” We would smile to ourselves, as dad would, and get ready for the next big inevitable gathering.
2. Having courage
I offer two examples here of what I believe were demonstrated acts of courage.
The first occurred before I was born and is part of the reputation that my mother earned while she was still single and living with her family in North Sacramento.
The incident in question occurred sometime just prior to the end of World War II. Mom had been tasked for some time to keep a strict chaperoning eye upon her younger stepsister Suzie. Suzie was an under aged teen who loved all the attention she could get from boys. Failing in her mission to keep Suzie out of harm’s way would earn mom a physical beating from her strict father. An opportunity arose for the two of them to take in a movie at one of the movie theaters along Del Paso Boulevard. As they were walking, approaching the movie theater, mom spied a couple of sailors headed in their direction.
Suzie had already spotted them and was flashing an inviting smile. Both of the sailors had also caught sight of both girls but they were focused in on young, flirtatious blond Suzie walking along with mom. Mom, sensing trouble coming, quickened their pace, pulling on the arm of Suzie to step it up.
As they approached within a few paces, one or both of the sailors made some suggestive remarks and blocked the path of the two women. Mom stepped forward and warned the sailor closest to Suzie to back off and to let them be. Supposedly, as the story goes, both of the sailors had been drinking and were not feeling any pain. The one closest to Suzie reached out to either shake her hand or stroke her hair. It was the last move he made while standing upright.
Anticipating the threat beforehand, mom had been covertly clutching a roll of dimes tightly in her balled up fist held at her side. A swift and vigorous uppercut punch below the chin sent the groping sailor over backwards right into the gutter. Without missing a beat, mom tugged fiercely at Suzie with her free hand dragging her flirty step sister away from the scene and on towards the movie theater. As they did, the second sailor, who was still standing, was busy pointing and laughing at his knocked down comrade who, “let that little woman belt him one.”
Example number one of courage under fire.
The second example of courage arose during the course of my mom serving as a volunteer upon the PTA of our local elementary school. The school was a great neighborhood grammar school, taught by a great bunch of teachers. The principal of the school, however, was a bullying and intimidating despot whom I’ll call Howard Smith. Principal Smith had spent many years intimidating both his teachers, the school administrative staff and parents. He ruled and ran the school as his own private kingdom. Part of this behavior included being stingy as hell when it came to control of the budget for school lunches, books & playground equipment.
It took only a year of mom serving her first stint on the PTA to start seeing things that needed changing. When mom began to question why things were not being done, overlooked or simply ignored, she was repeatedly told that it was all Principal Smiths’ doing and to back off the subject. Mom did not back off the subject. She badgered, rallied and organized the parents along with a handful of influential teachers, then demanded a meeting with Principal Smith. He agreed to meet with them, listened to their grievances then dismissed all of them. Big Mistake.
Mom’s next move was a detailed hand written letter to the school board. Next came a face to face meeting along with a few of the other courageous parents with the school board. Within the next six months, Principal Smith was removed, demoted and shipped off to another school district.
Example number two of courage with an ample amount of conviction thrown in.
3. Being kind hearted
One of the best examples I ever saw of mom demonstrating being kind hearted and compassionate to someone else occurred with one of our neighbors that we rarely ever saw. This was back in the late 1950’s when I was in the third grade.
Jeannie Underwood was a shy, sweet-natured young woman who lived with her aunt and uncle across the street from us. She was fair-skinned, with lustrous red hair and expressive brown eyes. She was born with a extremely painful and debilitating rheumatoid arthritis condition. She was only in her mid twenties yet her poor hands were bent and curled up into what looked like bird claws. She could not walk, relying instead upon a wheelchair. She lived in constant pain.
As kids, we would sometimes observe Jeannie sitting in her high-backed wheelchair in a corner of their living room if the front drapes were left open. Her aunt and uncle opened their home to her but tended to go about their lives ignoring her for the most part.
In visiting with Jeannie’s Aunt one day, mom noticed some interesting mosaic tile wall decorations hanging on the walls. When mom inquired as to where they had acquired them, she was informed that they were Jeannie's’ handiwork. Mom loved the look of them. Within a few days, mom went over on a regular basis each afternoon to have Jeannie teach her how to craft and create the mosaic tile decorations. Then mom was floored when Jeannie showed her a large heavy mosaic tile bowl that had been created out of an old worn out farm plow disc. A light went off in mom’s head: “we have access to these at our old Dodson Family Ranch up in Latrobe!”
I can remember several dinner table conversations with dad where mom was talking about getting lots of old used plow discs for Jeannie to do her tile work on them then sell them to make a part-time income from.
Mom stunned Jeannie when she pitched the idea of keeping Jeannie supplied with donated plow discs so Jeannie could then decorate and sell them! Never mind her inability to get up and travel around to do the selling herself: my mom and family members would do the selling for her. Jeannie was overwhelmed with emotion at the thought that anyone had taken an interest in her artwork let alone offering to help sell them on her behalf.
Mom next showed them to my grandfather and enlisted his enthusiastic support. Grandpa Dodson along with my dad became the finders and suppliers of plow discs while my mom pitched in at shopping for Jeannie’s mosaic tile supplies to keep her fledgling assembly line running. Jeannie was so appreciative with Grandpa Dodson’s first delivery of close to 20 plow discs for work to begin with. Over the next three or four years, Jeannie Underwood’s mosaic tile disc bowls and wall art was sold or introduced all over the Sacramento area. Mom, dad and grandpa never accepted a penny for what sold on Jeannie’s behalf.
To top it all off, mom decided to do something else for Jeannie Underwood.
Jeannie rarely left the confines of her home and did not have a social life at all. Mom began by inviting Jeannie to some of the neighborhood mom parties. Whether it was a birthday, a Tupperware party or just some of the mom’s having a gathering over a few drinks, Jeannie was invited and introduced to the fun and the opportunity to feel like she was accepted among the neighborhood women. I can still see the sparkle and mist in Jeannie’s eyes to this day in gratitude for the world that my mom opened up for her. God Bless You Jeannie Underwood.
Jeannie Underwood eventually succumbed to her disease while in her mid-thirties, but before she died, she was able to experience the love, the attention and a strong measure of validation from others that all began with my mom.
The importance of your family, possessing courage in standing up to a bully or a threat, and being kindhearted towards others or those who cannot stand up for themselves. Three things that I learned from and about my mom. All value lessons observed and held onto before I was the age of twelve. That was forty nine years ago.
Thanks Mom Dodson.
Jeff Dodson
November 23rd 2012
