It has been twenty three days since my father-in-law passed away with my wife and I close by his side. In this intervening period, We have contemplated what qualities he possessed that we most admired and that we would affirm to share with others. We made a list, then settled on what we call pop’s most enduring attributes. This then, what follows, is our tribute…our eulogy to father, and father-in-law, Forrest Earl Widdifield.
Devotion
Pop was most definitely a devoted man. Especially when it came to his late wife Marian. From December of 2006 up through March 23rd 2013, her final day with us in this life, Marian, owing to late stage Alzheimer’s dementia, was a resident of two local skilled nursing facilities. Pop dutifully got up each morning, prepared his own breakfast, then drove himself to see his beloved wife at least once nearly every day for all of those 6 plus years that they were apart. On some days, he would drive back again to visit her a second time in the afternoon. On the rare occasion that he could not make the trip, it was because he was down with the flu or a cold. And it just ate at him when he could not make the trips to see his wife.
He arranged for my mother to have a small digital TV set in her room to watch either TV or enjoy many of the old DVD movies she liked or any one of a variety of taped Lawrence Welk Shows that pop recorded for her enjoyment.
At home, in the privacy of his own bedroom, he hung his most favorite photos of either Marian or the two of them in their early years of marriage. Timeless treasures to look upon and reimagine that place in time again.
It made his day each time he walked into the room when their eyes met and she broke into one of her pleasant smiles of recognition and love for him.
Pop’s tender devotion to my mom and his daily trips to spend time with her may just as well have been taken right out of Nicolas Sparks’ book, The Notebook. Unwavering devotion to his life-long partner and spouse. His dedication to his wife Marian epitomized what devotion to another is all about.
An Active Mind
Coping with the reality of having your spouse living apart from you in a nursing home is something that is very upsetting and stressful for any senior. Pop found ways to keep himself busy mentally. He designed and assembled stereo speakers. He tinkered with household electronic clocks, toasters, and gadgets. He repaired a decades old hi-fi stereo cabinet system record turntable for his sister. He puttered in his backyard electronic repair shop. He read up on Alzheimer’s diseases and the various dementias. He began refurbishing an old three-wheeled adult trike to ride around his home. Pop pursued ways of keeping himself busy.
Simple Pleasures
Pop loved a good meal. Either home cooked or a well prepared, satisfying one from one of his favorite restaurants. Pop still cooked and prepared his own meals. His recipes for bean soup, stew and what he called a goulash were all hearty and satisfying. His favorite dining places were few and predictable. Mr. Perry’s, IHOP, the Waffle Barn or Shari’s. Unpretentious and low budget. All offered the kind of food he had become accustomed too so many decades before as a young teen traveling far and wide every week. Road house and all-night diner food. Omelettes, pot-roast dinners, hamburgers and the occasional fish-n-chips. It was all comfortable and familiar for him.
As his health declined and his doctor’s office visits became more frequent so arose the opportunities for him to ask to be taken to one of his favorite places after the doctor’s office visit or checkup.
My husband and I were fortunate to accompany him so many times as we did at one of his local diner lunches or dinners.
In between enjoying a good meal either at home or out, pop enjoyed a handful of favorite TV programs. Channel 3.2 offered up all of his favorite shows from back in the 1950’s onward. Most of those favorites were all Westerns. Bonanza, The Rifleman, Wanted Dead or Alive and The Big Valley topped the list. His mid-morning favorite soap opera was The Young and the Restless.
He Made All His Own Decisions
Woody made all of his own decisions, including his final one, which was to be taken home to be comfortable and pass away there when all of the medical reports and tests began to stack up against his continued longevity.
While transitioning in his care at the Sherwood Nursing Home after more than a week in ICU and time at Mercy Hospital, pop made a decision. He declared to Penny that he wanted to be transported home to live out whatever time he had left under Hospice care rather than remaining at the nursing home. We acceded to his wish and put it into motion.
He was thus able to spend his final week with us in this world while residing in his own home.
We admire and love you pop for these qualities, these attributes that we have spoken of today. We love and cherish you for all of the kind words that you shared as a father, all of the life lessons that you taught or modeled for us over the years and for all of the good deeds that you performed for others, for family and for your community in the time that you were with us.
George Strait got it right in the lyrics to his song, Love Without End, Amen, when he sang about the timeless love a father holds for his children. Pop loved country western music, and, recently decided that he liked this particular song by George Strait. It turns out, pop was living out those lyrics every day with his family since day one.
We will miss you pop and love you for all time. God Bless You Forrest Widdifield.
Jeff Dodson & Penny Widdifield Dodson
October 27th 2014
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